Friday, August 13, 2004

Indentifying Morons 101

Chanakya was asked to make a stick smaller without breaking it. The smart Alec that he was, he brought a bigger stick and placed it next to the original stick.

Trust me it works... not the stick... the concept... basically if you are feeling irritated, make people around you even more irritated... and your irritation will recede. But it all lies in how you translate the stick anecdote. I mean sometimes people really take it a bit too far... confused... fear not, I shall explain. Supposing you are a group of people who are pretty normal... by normal I mean you can get my jokes... and then this new person is implanted into the group. Yes, you guessed it, he doesn't get my jokes. So let's call this person something, and no, I will not refer to this person by the name he has been given. Hmmmm, I think I shall call him... the target. Okay so the target eventually realises that he is being picked on by all and sundry. So the target decides that something needs to be done regarding this.

The first attempt:
The target ignores you.
He behaves as if he is impervious to your taunts / teases / insults. But he seems to be forgetting that this only makes him a sitting duck. You see, no matter how hard he tries, he doesn't realise that he is the target. People are there to hunt him. By ignoring he is only making everyone else laugh at him more freely.

The second attempt:
The target retaliates.
He musters up whatever little imagination he has tries to come back at you with a smart retort. Needless to say he alone thinks it's a smart one. So, he retorts, and then laughs, alone. Then he retorts again, laughs, alone, and the normal people start with their lunch. He retorts yet again, laughs again, still alone, and the normal people finish their lunch. As he is about to retort once more, the normal people burp, and then retort back to make him shut up. And then the target slips back into the "I am ignoring you" mode. Although this is usually preceded by a few sharp intakes of breathe, as if they had something to say. But, it is all in vain, 'cause eagle 20 has been shot down.

The third attempt:
The new target (at least he thought so).
It never fails to amaze me. But believe it or not, birds of a flock do fly together. Even amongst humans. The target realises that he can't beat the normal people. So he introduces a new target to the group. He believes the new target to be actually more moronic than himself, and that the normal people will start teasing the new target and forget him. He forgets, the normal people are a fun loving bunch. For them, the more the merrier; be it targets or fellow normal people. But the upside for the target, is that now he no longer laughs alone. He has a companion.

And that's strike three... and they are out.

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