Start --> Shut Down

I stared blankly at the email, having worked for almost eight years, I had never seen anything like it. At least not as an official mail.

Hi Everyone,

We have observed that users are not switching off their UPS while leaving for the day. In night when there is no power and also no generator backup is available the UPS goes to battery backup which exhausts the UPS and in morning creates problems for users. In the past we have given several reminders about the use of UPS and also explained the same in every Induction but nobody is in the habit of switching off the UPS.

Same is the case with Computers and Lab Machines as many users leave them ON while leaving for the day as well as for the weekend.

From Tuesday i.e. 3rd Oct. 2006 onwards those users who are not switching off there UPS and Machines/Lab Machines there complaints will be attended at least priority.

Kindly cooperate with us in keeping the UPS and other hardware in proper working condition. Do Switch Off your Respective Machines and UPS while leaving for the day.

Thanks & Regards,

IT Support

In the eight years that I have been working I have never come across a situation as sad as this. Actually, I have never had a machine as sad this one, and that is precisely what is so sad about this mail. It requires me to shut down and start the machine everyday. I repeat, EVERYDAY.


What could be so bad about it? You had to ask. Let's see. I shall take you through the entire procedure of switching on the machine at my workstation.

1. Come to work, and gaze at this obscure piece of equipment that takes out a "dharna" every second day to demand equal opportunities at par with the Pentium 4s of the world. They have ample political backing as well, because people from the IT support department come to meet them every day, sometimes twice a day, and believe it or not they sometimes spend the entire day with these machines.
2. So once you are done gazing at the CPU, you turn your gaze to the monitor. At 14 inches diagonally across, it behaves like a supermodel with a flat chest. It makes you think about the LCD, you had in the job some time before.
   
3. Then you push the chair away, because the UPS is kept under the table and right next to the wall. You get down on your knees to beg the UPS to not to give you a shock as you reach to switch it on.
   
4. You switch on the UPS and and it blows a loud ear shattering whistle telling you it doesn't have sufficient battery. So you let it scream and writhe in pain. No I'm not sadistic, but given what these machines put me through, it no big deal.
   
5. After screaming for 30-45 seconds, it settles down. It realizes that I am too heartless to hear it's screams. and then it decides to pass the baton to the CPU and the Monitor. I'm sure if the UPS had a face, it would give me the same smirk that Gollum gives to Sam at the end of The Two Towers.
6. Now the CPU and the monitor take over. It feels like a handicap match. They are a Tag Team while I have to go Solo. The CPU starts sputtering, thinks about all the things I did to the UPS, and then stops making any sound whatsoever. I await with a baited breath for the monitor to turn on and show me what the fish is wrong? Windows did not start correctly the last time: would you like to start it in the safe mode?
   
7. That is a warning shot. But I try and ignore it. I select boot normally and hit Enter.
8. I think I hit the key too hard. Because suddenly the monitor changed its colour to a dirty purple hue. I try adjusting the wire, slapping the monitor, and then finally as I am about to call IT Support, it turns normal.
9. I sigh and the long agonizing wait for the machine to start up begins. It sputters and coughs and then goes into whirring sound. The CD drive makes a sound, the Floppy drive makes a sound. What does it think it is doing? Launching a space shuttle?
10. Finally the login screen appears, you give the three finger salute. Only to realize that the System Administrator had logged in during the night. That is usually never good news.
11. So you key in the User ID and Password and wait, then you realize the speakers didn't make any noise about starting up.
    
12. You decide to let the machine go through it's startup regimen while you grab yourself a cup of coffee. So you step out to the coffee machine and make some small talk with someone you meet there. 10 minutes later when you return to your seat you realize you're again facing the Login screen.
13. You scroll back up in your mind thinking did you just login or not? You remember you did, so what gives? A small bubble pops up and says "Windows Update recently restarted your machine". Hello, shouldn't you ask me before you restart the machine? Apparently, Billu thinks otherwise.
14. It Logs you in, you keep eleven bucks aside in your wallet to donate in the temple. Just as your wallet gets into that snug position behind your butt. The whole screen turns blue. Now you can spend those eleven bucks on an Ice Cream instead.

Shutting down this machine is another post altogether.

Delhi... The city I live in

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner,
Sometimes I feel like my only friend,
Is the city I live in, the city of angels,
Lonely as I am, together we cry,

From the song "Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

I simply love this song, because of the way it personifies a city. Whenever I hear this song it gives me a strange sense of belonging to New Delhi. A few months ago... my hard disk crashed :( and along with other things all my music was lost. I really miss this song.

One of my favorite pastimes is to drive around the city late at night with RHCP playing at high volume. It is such a pleasure to drive the wide open roads uninterrupted over the flyovers through the underpasses, grabbing a quick bite at the Nizamuddin or the Old Delhi Railway station. Sometimes I drive on the road to the airport... an airplane on descent just makes me slow down the car to a crawl and watch it fly across the road... barely a hundred feet above the ground. Sometimes, if I have company... we'll pick up a beer or wine from the border thekas... and let the city sink in. The roads in Delhi are amazing... you really have to visit Mumbai or Bangalore to realize how better off Delhiites really are... You need to check out the flyovers along the ring road, the Greater NOIDA expressway... these things really take your breath away...

Also, I am quite a foodie... and the food in Delhi is amazing... be it fine dining at Azurro, or the Dhaba food at FORE ... or Kareem's in Old Delhi... the choices are immense... and man the nightlife is also truly amazing... one could head out to Capitol, Elevate, Ministry of Sound, Nasha.. the choices are endless...

I love this city... and yet I want to leave it... maybe it's because I want to tell people in other cities how cool my home town is...

Maybe someday I'll miss this city... :)

Smart People come and go, Morons Accumulate

Okay, what do you do when you come across a person so dumb that he is pressing the down arrow key with his arm and at the same time is trying to use the mouse to scroll up on a web page... And then turns around to you and says... "I think someone else has taken over my machine... See... I'm trying to scroll up but the page automatically keeps on scrolling down!!! This so spooky!!! Maybe this is a virus"

Now for the icing on the sake... Replace the man in question above with a woman... And the arm with her breast... And the best part is ... This is happening with her for the second time!!!
GAWD!!! How irritatingly dumb can anyone get...???

You know there are two kinds of dumb people... The first kind is like this...

The Boss: Can you tell me how many units did we sell last month...???

The Employee: No, but I can tell you how many times did Michael Jordan
score off a fade away in each of the NBA Finals he's ever played in...

Now such people will obviously be considered to be dumb... But... If you look closely he is not dumb, he just has command over thoroughly useless information. (Hey, at least he told him that he doesn't have the answer)

Such people I can live with... If nothing else they make great partners in a sozzled conversation.

Then there are the other types of dumb people... Here is what they are like...

They'll wear extremely tight clothes to remind themselves that they need to slim down... Or mark stuff on papers with a highlighter, which according to them is not worth reading... Or ask, "then what happened?" long after the joke ends... Ok so you know the kind I'm talking about... These are the ones who I can't live with...

So I have started documenting ways to pick out such people from a crowd...

• They are the only ones laughing at their own jokes in a group… While everyone else is forcing a smile on their faces

• They are the most conscious of themselves when they are all alone

• They fall for the easiest tricks in the book... (i.e. they have never heard of - "Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me"

• They'll laugh at your most pathetic jokes

• They are usually not very bright about computers and would never accept this fact

• They are very territorial

• Their proximics are totally screwed up

There are so many ways to pick them out... but these are the ones which generally some to mind... if you know more, then your additions are welcome.

Let us go to war

Comrades, today we are going to war,
Do not ask what we are fighting for,
Or even if the enemy is at our door,
Or who is it that lies dead on the floor,

For someone once wrote on the fly,
that yours is not to reason why,
Nor can you make reply,
You will but do and die,

So pick up your arms and give your beloved a kiss,
Maybe, marry her, if she's still a miss,
Being a martyr's widow; a better fate it is,
Than to marry someone else for eternal bliss,

And when you fight, make them taste the metal of your gun,
Hunt them down, if they turn around and run,
Their women we shall rape, when their villages are won,
And don't you dare think, that they might be some mother's son,

Their country, is what shall be downed,
Their culture, we shall raze to the ground,
They do not believe in the democracy we found,
They are the infidel savages, we wear the civilized crown,

So come comrades, let us make war,
For our leaders know, what we are fighting for,
Our enemy is with us, behind our door,
And soon he'll have us crawling on the floor.

- Harkirat

House of the Rising Sun

Just went looking for the lyrics to this song over the net. To my surprise I had thought that this was an original number by the Animals. It turns out that it is a "Folk Song" in the U.S., weird country I say. Anyways, here are the original lyrics to the song.

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun.
It's been the ruin of many a poor boy,
And me, O God, for one.

If I had listened what Mamma said,
I'd 'a' been at home today.
Being so young and foolish, poor boy,
Let a rambler lead me astray.

Go tell my baby sister
Never do like I have done
To shun that house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun.

My mother she's a tailor;
She sold those new blue jeans.
My sweetheart, he's a drunkard, Lord, Lord,
Drinks down in New Orleans.

The only thing a drunkard needs
Is a suitcase and a trunk.
The only time he's satisfied
Is when he's on a drunk.

Fills his glasses to the brim,
Passes them around
Only pleasure he gets out of life
Is hoboin' from town to town.

One foot is on the platform
And the other one on the train.
I'm going back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain.

Going back to New Orleans,
My race is almost run.
Going back to spend the rest of my days
Beneath that Rising Sun.

Chapter: NavParikrama

In an ancient world with different constellations, the discovery of a rare metal that changes the behavior of sand, rock, water, and air by simply touching them. The slaves sent to mine the metal, become physically stronger, and start living extended lifespans. The laborers revolt and take control of the supply of the metal. They eventually become immortal, and the oppressed become the oppressors, a struggle for survival begins. The story begins many centuries later:

"Have you forgotten that this is a gift?", thundered Arikt Shanghi, "We are the favoured ones, the undying ones might have come first, but they too envy us for the gift we have. How can you even think, let alone try to reverse the will of the creator?" The rage in his eyes was genuine, but foolish, as he lay in the pool of his own blood, and each gash on his body was still reeking with blood. He could no longer feel the pain in him, he just went numb. His defiance, his loyalty, his courage, everything made Marukus Chiral wish that Arikt would be on her side. She always had had a soft corner for him. He was human to the core, he had his misgivings, but he accepted those without remorse. His self-righteous behaviour and his abilities with words and weapons would have made him a worthy ally. "But, alas, the path I have chosen for myself calls for sacrifices, but this is not the sacrifice I wanted to make." She thought.

She suddenly became aware of another soldier attacking her from the left. Instinctively, her sword changed hands from the right to the left, as she was about to thrust the blade into the soldier she checked herself. The soldier did not wear any body armour, and was unarmed. the soldier darted across to Arikt and held him in her arms. Arikt's eyes were closing, the soldier quickly checked the pulse, and started drawing the Parikrama of revival in the pool of Arikt's blood. Then she took out her Khadagush, balanced it on her elbows, clasped her hands together, and prayed hard to revive him. But it did not seem to work. Marukus' blows were many and deep, Arikt had not even put on a defense. Marukus remembered his words, "The ones for whom you'll fight against the whole universe, is the only one in the universe you can't fight against." She felt a lump come up her throat. She tried hard to swallow it. Thankfully, the bugle sounded, heralding the end of fighting for that day. She turned around and saw the soldier drawing a new Parikrama, this time of her own blood. Marukus tried hard to recognise this new Parikrama, but she had never seen anything like it before. It looked like the Parikrama of revival superimposed on the Parikramas of healing and exchange, and another unknown Parikrama. This NavParikrama was too intricate and complex for the common eye to understand the layers on it, had Marukus not been so deeply associated with the art of Parikramas, even she wouldn't have recognised the various Parikramas that had been layered together. The soldier quickly dragged Arikt's almost lifeless body into the NavParikrama, then she opened up Arikt's Khadagush into it's eighth form. In the eighth form, a Khadagush looks like two curved swords held together by the bowstring at the hilts. She quickly placed the Khadagush across the chest of Arikt, passed the bowstring under Arikt's body and folded the Khadagush back into its first form, once again it looked like a bow. The soldier then stood over the chest of Arikt and opened her Khadagush into the second form, where in it still looked like a bow, but with the exception of two sword blades hanging out from the ends of the bow.


Marukus kept looking on, wondering what this was about. She had half a mind to intervene and stop this soldier from what she was doing, but curiosity made her wait and watch. Soon many of the soldiers returning from battle started gathering around in a circle, Arikt's army realised that their commander had fallen into the trap that he had been warned of. With teary eyes they saw the soldier, as she prepared the Parikrama around Arikt. Finally, she stopped and said, "You shall not weep for Arikt, for he dies not in vain. In the midst of the battle, across his love he came. She loves her cause more than she ever loved him, He loved her so, and knew his fate was grim. He has fallen on the field of battle, beside his brave soldiers, but remember his love, and do not harm her, even though the days grow colder." It sounded like one of the many songs Arikt would occasionally recite as he made them up. But this song came from this unknown soldier. Before someone could muster the courage to ask her who she was, she lifted her Khadagush over her head drew on the bowstring, she looked down at Arikt and two teardrops came out of her eyes as she recited a prayer. The tears fell on the drawn bowstring, trickled down to her hand that was drawing the string.

Suddenly, there was commotion in the crowd, as General Fukilorn ran towards the soldier, he screamed, "Hanruk, don't!!!". The tears touched the thumb on Hanruk's hand and she let go off the string. Lightning left the Khadagush and ascended towards the heavens, then it curved high up and turned towards North. The ground inside the NavParikrama started rumbling, and then it started breaking, and then it launched straight up into the air and followed the lightning. in a blink of an eye, the two of them had disappeared. Marukus stared at the crater in the ground, she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. General Fukilorn came and stood in front of her, and she looked up at him.

"I killed my own husband, and Hanruk, was she...?" her voice trailed off.

"Yes, she was yours and Arikt's second child." the general replied.

"I don't want to fight anymore. I have lost my husband, my daughter, and my son lies wounded in the healing house. All my family is almost lost, and I don't want to fight my father now. Please father, end this now, Arikt has made his point, I concede defeat. I will halt the construction, but I do not have the courage to fight you." With that she fell to the ground on her knees. General Fukilorn took her hands and made her stand up. He caressed her face, and kissed her on her forehead.

"Let's go and see Chiran, Arikt has taught me about the Parikrama of healing. He was somehow very sure of the fact that I will be able to use it to save his son." he said to Marukus. "You shouldn't have let them face each other in battle. But then I suppose you were blinded by your quest."

Marukus just looked up at the heavens and said, "Father, you will never understand, after all you are an immortal too."